Happy Christmas

Wishing everyone, everywhere a very happy Christmas. I hope you have someone to share it with. If not this wish is especially dedicated for you. ūüôā

xx, ka

kindness1

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Me. Reborn from the forest.

red fox

No. I am not an angel. I am not a lingery lover, a pretty girl in fine laces and I don’t like expensive jewellery for woman (or for men), bags, perfect straight hair waves or stylized ¬†or why not corrected? curles, and since teen-age I will never again cover any of myself in darker or lighter make-up clots or fake lashes for the sake of my mirror, my followers on Insta or perfectly rectified group of real or non-virtual friends on the outdying social forum of Facebook. I just want to be naked, clean and as close to what nature made me as possibly possible. I want to be recognizeable to myself and myself only, or the to ones closer.

They say the years makes you wiser and in good old days I used to see myself as a clever but spiritual form of owl. In present days, the description has turned wider, more complex but stronger and truer than ever. I have made a somewhat U-turn from things and people that I was thinking were defining me from my passed and although the rebellion came late, and apparently does for some people – It goddamnit came. At last.

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No. I don’t like Reggaeton…

Maybe only some good old wise men or thinkers like Somerset Maugham, Hemingway, Wilde, Lincoln or Thoreau usually being known for putting things straight and thinking for themselves, or the people with just similar experiences like mine can understand what I mean when I say: Life doesn’t get better, It’s YOU getting better.

And the more you take command of what is nearby concerning you, bothering you, loving you or maybe haunting you in your dreams Рthe whole damn circle of life of things and people and relations gets truer, deeper, simpler and more stunning. No materialistic thinking, fake friends, self-obsessed selfie exuberant era will get me off track from my own path and I know Mr Lama is with me.

I never liked tattoos but recently I have been hit by the hipster flash to adorn the human peel with some non-regrettable ornaments or private statements for memories you’d like to print into your naked skin.

There are three, maybe four things that caught my desire for letting a scary needle pinch me with colours – that more or less will leave it’s mark forever..

I wont tell what they are but it has something to do with who I finally become (or should I say until now?). The marks, that first of all are happy, would somehow make closure or give me something beautiful, to remind myself of all I’ve done and all sacrifices I have made to go my own way. Like a pretty gift to myself.

Suddenly all somewhat blurry explanations from tattoo-loving individuals on how or why they decided to make this special tattoo at this very moment of their lives make a bit more sense..

Like them, and like everyone should be… I am so incredibly happy to be me.

There is a tamed deer in my chest.

There is a red fox behind my ear…

A.K.E.

not-everyone-will-understand-your-journey

 

 

In Bocca al Lupo

I think someone is trying to tell me something.¬†Recently, I¬†received an¬†sms¬†from a friend with the only words: ‘In bocca¬†al lupo’.

Since I already was full-time busy with putting my thoughts together for the task ahead it only confused me. My Italian needs a true kick-off and the knowledge I gain are still mainly from songs that can be sung. (but not until long fokes..!) Therefore, I decided it was a gentle reminder of a nice weekend, and a car-drive through the countryside filled with beautiful Lucio Dalla lyrics singing through the air. Just a title of one of his songs.

Later the same day I found out I was wrong. Was speaking to another friend through phone who ended the conversation with the same words. ..??

What the heck I thought!? I asked him to explain it and he told me it was an Italian saying practicly meaning ‘Good Luck’ or¬†in literal sense ‘into the mouth of the wolf‘. Through a unknown¬†internet-source I found out that this phrase “does loosely translate to a common english expression of “Good Luck” or “break a leg” since it is often used as a theather¬†expression. This is offered up to someone to instill courage, since they are about to attempt a task that is very noteworthy”..

Thanx!! Message received and noted.

Some hours later, when I was bringing out the mail from the far too small mail-box in the front yard, my eyes spotted a small and wet piece of paper lying on the ground. For one second I was curious and thought about picking it up but had hands full so closed the whining iron gate and turned the next key. One sec later I was back, picked up the paper and opened it. ..It was small, yellow and without any notes or hints of anything exciting. To my surprise however, what there was was a four-leaf clover. ..

Maybe that there is no need to over-interpretate but I can’t help feeling that I will need this luck.

In any case.¬†As¬†one Italian response follows:¬†“CREPI¬†AL LUPO”

(I shall eat the wolf)

And right after that, I will start dancing again. ūüôā

The day the earth stood – dumb

Image

This morning¬†when my alarm went¬†on I¬†felt¬†everything was wrong. I couldn’t get why and¬†next thing I knew I woke up again..? This time¬†remembering my¬†nightmare –¬†that I was sick and about to die in short – and with an increasing awareness of that dying or not, I had most likely¬†overslept and¬†was about to be very late¬†to work.

I skipped breakfast and felt worse than I’ve done for a century. There are only two trivial things I wouldn’t miss in case¬†of emergency; 1.) Eating¬†somewhat of a¬†breakfast and 2.) brushing my teeth. It probably happens once a year and it’s as devastating for my human existence to skip it as is to skip napping for a cat (in my opinion¬†human sleeping needs are highly overrated) and the¬†day makes as much sense as a tram number 8 not overcrowded with people, –¬†or as a day, without the most horrible ambulances sound in the world, the wicked traffic,¬†the pollutional, fresh morning breeze,¬†and crazy¬†children, dogs and nervous¬†people screaming to and with each other all over the town¬†in their cells?

Phoneland

Just to reassure you with a premature bad hearing. Honestly, how much sense would that make in a day?

Finally in place I found out the window curtain, the only thing I have to save me from the approaching¬†Mediterranean extreme weather climate change¬†heat waves,¬†had been¬†broken, giving a ‘tropical’ nudge¬†to¬†my¬†otherwise¬†very ‘cool’ and calm working days…(or??)

After some running in and out at office (mainly not by myself) and some minor misunderstandings and arguments about desk-changes to and from places, with and without me and my desk involved, I was given a blissful gift from above: a moment of peace and concentration.

I am still very happy for that moment. It might actually have helped me¬†to contribute¬†positively to¬†the organisation.¬†It might even have helped solving some of¬†the world’s problems, if only¬†just a tiny little country corner of it.

Seriously, some days I wish people and everything GAVE ME A BREAK. Some days you are very very close to scream it to people right in their face, like, in case they didn’t understand???¬†But you couldn’t. – And probably shouldn’t…

So I got the brilliant idea to say it here. GIVE ME A BREEEEEEAAAAAK!!! And please let me do my stuff!

Employee of the day?

Now I will brush my teeth¬†of frustration. Let’s pray for a brighter (but not warmer) tomorrow..

Cordiali saluti di me.

Disconnect and redirect

Each planet has its own orbit agenda. Think of people close to you as planets. Sometimes it’s nice to just watch them orbit and shine.

Yoko Ono 24 September ’08

The bad news is that there is a total mess on my desk. According to one of the many golden rules of feng-shui¬†you are allowed to have¬†ONE specific part or point of the room with a crazy mess. I chose the only table I have at the moment which was a really bad idea since I don’t have anywhere to work¬†or put my things in order..

The good news are¬†various. It just started snowing again so I am hoping to get the opportunity to go skiing and have some fresh air¬†before going “city-south”.¬†This is also a good thing since¬†the early spring gives me climatic change/bad conscience stress disorders.¬†At least a bit. March is¬†a perfect time for spring, no hurries – no worries. Which is exactly why I haven’t been rushing into next part of my life. The post-thirties.

Believe it or not but I am content. I believe to have given me¬†enough time for recollecting, then reflecting to finally¬†reorganize myself and my plans. Enough time to clear¬†my moveable¬†mind, and to know¬†for sure¬†that¬†my present future plans¬†had never¬†been realized without¬†some valuable time on my own. It¬†is¬†hard to disconnect¬†but¬†I¬†have many times wondered how people¬†in avoidance¬†of it can manage at all? To take a break from¬†the a¬†“logged in”-status is like taking¬†a deep breath and recapture your life.

I am the last one to be called stress hardy but during a preparation course I finished to start my great intership I think I at least got a few points. Who knows, it could be valuable for others..

  • Routines are the “route to regularity” (sleep, meals, physics, well-being and effectiveness) (With or without help for PMDD. ūüėČ )¬†Routines also help balancing and separating between official and private parts of¬†life.¬†AND – you don’t have to be¬†boring to convert with them
  • If feeling overwhelmed – control what you can, but almost more important – realize what you cannot
  • ¬†Try¬†NOT to identify yourself too much with a success or failure of a work or with a certain task
  • Listen to what others have to say
  • Be alert and — never lose your sense of humour

  • Yes. Just do it.

I actually wanted to make a list of 30 points¬†of things I’ve learned before 30, but¬†since I am not entirely the same¬†person as before, unwarily flaring in time, I guess¬†it could mean I am not entirely the same ambitious¬†blogger?

OR, the best is yet to come??..

I dunno.

When settled, I’ll send some¬†yummy¬†shots or updates¬†from my favorite place on earth.. (except from a very, very¬†secret one)

Hush now all the babies in the world!

Yoko Ono 08,
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